When your dreams come true…

Have you ever dreamed of what it is going to be like when you dreams start coming true? 

I have.

Not only do I dream big but, I’m constantly thinking about that moment when I finally achieve whatever it is I’m dreaming about. I want to know what it’s gonna feel like. Will I be happy? Overjoyed? Will I cry? Will I run around my house, screaming like I won the lottery? I like to be prepared, so I’ll pre-plan for every possible outcome. And the last thing I want, is to not have the right reaction.
The thing is though, when I actually achieve my goal. It never happens exactly how I think it will.  There’s always at least one thing that ends up happening that I didn’t plan for.
I suppose this shouldn’t be unexpected. If I was really good at planning. I would plan for the unexpected but, I don’t, because in my world nothing unexpected should happen. I don’t like surprises so, basically the whole idea of the “unexpected” drives me bonkers.
Recently, in Smashlee world, dreams have been coming true. Hard work has been paying off and I am so excited about what’s coming up. I have to be tight-lipped about the details, but trust me people, its pretty awesome.

img_3437
My lips are sealed.

Although I’m over the moon at the wonderful things coming my way, there is a flip side to this and it’s the unexpected ” thing”.  That one “thing”, that I didn’t plan for.
This time that “thing” came to me in the form of the drunk monkey called Freda. Let me explain, the drunk monkey is that voice in your head that questions everything . She analyzes to death every single move you make and every word you’ve ever spoken to every person you’ve ever met. The drunk monkey can go on and on and on and she won’t stop unless you find away to quiet her down.
I’ve known about my drunk monkey for sometime and I’m pretty good at telling her to shut up. In fact, I kinda forgot about her but, then all of sudden, she makes an appearance. I know it was no accident that it was exactly the same time my goals and dreams started to get some traction.
Right now, Freda is saying things like “hey, what if you screw this up? What if you say something wrong? What if your hated? What if, what if, what if….” I could go on forever but, most of the thoughts are not worth repeating.

So, as I navigate this world of craziness and find a new way to calm Freda down, I know I also need  give myself a big hug and say; “Look, all your hard work is starting to pay off! YOU accomplished this! YOU, Smashlee, are the reason this is all happening! You are the reason your dreams are coming true!” and maybe just maybe , celebrate with a bubble bath. Freda, likes bubble bath.

– Smashlee

Ashlee Lackovic ( aka Smashlee) is a knit wear designer, pattern writer, blogger and Etsy shop owner. She loves snow, bubble baths and really really bright neon colours.

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